bookish dreamer

As far back as I can remember, I've believed somewhere in the back of my head, at a gut level of knowing-ness, that the stories in books go on without me. If I put a book down in the middle, it means the story might go somewhere else that I can't see and won't know. I know this isn't a logical attitude, but it's what my brain thinks.

This has led me to sneaking books under the covers, into classrooms in middle-school, and under my desk at high school. Lead to me sitting up all night when I had to be at work at 8 am the next morning just to *find out.* Hilariously I used to get reprimanded for reading too much. Even as an adult. Of course I was often reading the wrong thing since it was mostly sci fi or fantasy books with lurid covers and crazy stories. But even with other types of literature I've always had trouble putting the damn book down.

Which is why I have trouble with WIPs, I think. I mean, I think in some fashion everyone wishes the story were complete, but I think there are a lot of people who really enjoy the getting there and don't mind if there isn't an end in sight.

Me, it's not the end I mind. I LOVE the getting there. It's that a WIP is like a book I'm being *made* to put down. And not being allowed to pick it back up (because there's nothing *to* pick up).

There are only a couple of writers I'll read WIPs from, and it's only because either I love them so much that I don't care, or that the world is so big it's ok, I wouldn't be able to take it all in anyway. For example:

seperis has been writing the epic, world-eating SPN AU fic Down to Agincourt (Dean/Castiel, eventually NC17, currently at 1,077,012 words and STILL unfinished) and I love that. An enormous take on one of the AUs that the show itself spawned, she asks what would have happened if Dean had gotten stuck at the end of the world? It's so fucking dense, textured, ridiculously complex, and yet I *want to know* what happens. But it's also so sprawling that it's ok that Dean and Cas are sitting around at the end of the world waiting to figure out how in the hell they're going to get screwed over AND screw Lucifer's endgame all at the same time. I mean she brought in Goddesses on this stuff. There's whole subplots that make me want to do research as a reader. I have hope that eventually it'll play out, and I'm fine with them living in the back of my head. Though I still tend to try and read not chapter-by-chapter when she publishes, but entire story-by-story so at least an arc is complete.

the ONLY fic that I've ever been pretty into as a WIP isn't so much a WIP as there are short, self-contained fics that are added to a collection periodically that expand the universe just a little bit more.

feather (or lalaietha) wrote this pretty long MCU Steve/Bucky recovery fic your blue eyed boys (Steve/Bucky, M, 123,233 words), which is amazing and lovely. It's all about Steve really trying to figure out what *will* help a Bucky who shows up on his doorstep but is relearning how to ask for things, want things, remember things, consider himself human. But then.

Then she started writing shorts in the 'verse.

(even if i could) make a deal with god (Steve/Bucky, Natasha/Clint, Bruce/Betsy, Pepper/Tony,) that has at last count 121 short fics in it. And short sometimes is 1,000 words, but sometimes is like 20,000. Word count on these "shorts" totals 478,092. Also though it's got some of the most amazing OCs ever, like, ever. When she puts a new segment out in this 'verse it's nonlinear, she jumps around, even though the timeline is incredibly well thought out and everything does fit together if you went and decided to read it right now. It also works though because Bucky's recovery is non-linear, and the form fits the emotional tone of his and Steve's life. Some of the fics make me cry. Some make me sigh. Some make me cheer. There's a young girl Mercedes who you will want to make friends with. Actually the best part of this series is that it's populated with incredible women - a vet named Chloe, her girlfriend Paula, even Betsy Ross is clearly Feather's Betsy Ross. Oh and there's a whole other sub-collection for the Natasha-focused stories [to see you there] (mostly Natasha but also Natasha/Clint, and it's another 133,179 words!)

But these two are pretty much it.

Until last night. When I made the mistake of following links from BetteNoire's Lucky Seven (Steve/Bucky power-AU, very NC17, 94,264 words) where Bucky is ex-russian mafia and fixes/races bikes and Steve is a very tired superhero to this:

(silentwalrus, Steve/Bucky, PG13 for violence at this point, 109,211 words)

Steve gets out of the hospital in two days, but just barely. “I’m fine,” he tells Sam, Nurse Eunjung and the phalanx of doctors assigned to make sure Captain America didn’t bleed out and die and get bad PR all over their nice clean hospital. “I have an advanced healing factor. It’s fine. See? I’m standing.”

“That is not standing,” Sam tells him.

“You’re bending the IV stand,” Nurse Eunjung adds pointedly. “Let go and sit down, they don’t grow on trees.”


aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

But it's only 12 of 16 chapters done!!

And I didn't realize that until 1:30 am last night, as I'm rounding the corner on their adventures and the boys are getting a little bit lighter and less covered in grim and grime, and there are some truly funny and amazing bits in this and it has all my favorite loves for these two -- Steve getting to have faith in his Bucky, Bucky getting to be a badass but also getting to be fucking wounded and figuring his own way out, Natasha being the one who actually calls everybody for being ridiculous, even herself, and I just....

I don't want it to END per se, but somewhere they're still out there in the back of my brain moving forward in ways that my rational brain knows the fic hasn't moved forward yet. But the irrational gut feeling of me knows that I'm standing still not reading and is worried they'll be going places I can't catch up to.

Thank god for subscriptions.

After making pancakes for 15 odd years with varying degrees of success I found myself this morning with the perfect plate of silver-dollar pancakes (see above). They may look a little large in the picture but they're approx 3 inches in diameter and freakishly they came out perfect. I am a pleased Kate.

My plan today is pancakes, Maeda Ai (one of the foremost philosophers/literary scholars/interrogators of the modern periphery in modern Japan) reading, and possibly the buying of a vacuum cleaner belt if there are any stores open Sunday.

It was a fairly hellish week last week - rescheduling a make up class meant that I had two sets of reading to do for the class that is trying to create records in how much we read a week - and by the end of it I wanted to club the woman who is taking all the same classes as me over the head with my computer. I'm going to have to come up with a name for her, I think, so I can vent properly.... possibly co-student? The sad part is that she's making me happy to have my nemesis in one of our classes because he's an annoyance in an entirely *different* kind of way. It's freakish when that's more welcome!

( you see, the thing about co-student is... )

Other than that life is pretty good - still tired, and have applications to work on and a paper to edit on the to do list too.  And possibly a friend coming to spend the night tomorrow night.

And this was supposed to just be a quick entry about pancakes.  *shaking my own head at myself*

Once upon a time a girl went up to N. Cal to visit her family - there were lots of hugs and a bunch of time spent hanging out with her nephews and parents and even an eclipse! And then she and her mom took a driving adventure back to her house, filled it with lots of wonderful things to make it a warm home, made bunches of good food, and went on adventures. And then, sadly, she had to put her mom back on a train to go home. But in the end, it was kind of a magical Christmas.

( And look, there were pictures! )

My horoscope for this week:

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the weeks ahead, Libra, you're going to be
tested on your follow-through. People will want you to work harder on
what has previously come fairly easily. You will be pressured to make
good on your promises; you'll be asked to refine the details that are
central to the success of the good new ideas that are floating around. As
much as you might be tempted to slip away and fly off in pursuit of
things that are more fun, I encourage you to stick with the program. You
can't imagine how important it is for you to learn how to be a more
committed builder.

Couldn't be more germane if it tried!!

Ok, so first off, the conference went GREAT!!  But oh my god my brain hurt from the information overload!  You try sitting in on 4 panels a day, 4 people each panel, each presentation going for at least 20 minutes, sometimes on things you know a little about but sometimes not, mostly read in slightly monotone voices .... it was painful in all the best ways!

( The Good, the YAY, and the OOOOO )

( So, if all that was so great, why the horoscope... )

Let's start, shall we, with a little picture of the mountains:



I had forgotten how much fun driving is.  And seriously, the route I took from Southern to Northern california is really boring through most of the drive, and yet, I had the grandest time.  My ipod failed, so I had to search for radio stations, and ended up finding wonderful crappy music to play and sing to, and got to drive on roads I hadn't taken in years.  And stop whenever I wanted.  And just hang out with myself.  It was a great time.

( picspam, and probably too many words all together, but i couldn't resist. you can totally just look at the pictures if you want! )

1/3 of the 3 day Japanese test down.  (and sadly, mostly failed, no, really, i'm serious).  At least I have most of the weekend to study for the next two parts.

Know what I like most about Japanese?  The way kanji looks.  And the little things, like these phrases we're learning with each chapter.  They're called 諺　(pronounced kotowaza and translated as proverbs, or sayings).  These are the ones we've learned so far:

失敗は成功の基　（しっぱいはせいこのもと）
{Shi pai wa sei ko no moto} Failure is the basis for success
yeah, this is the one I tell myself all the time.  Over.  and over.  and over.

サルも木から落ちる　（さらもきからおちる）
{Sara mo ki kara ochiru} Even monkeys fall from trees
More translated - everybody makes mistakes, no matter who they are

急がば回れ　（いそがばまわれ）
｛Isogaba maware} If hurried, go around
Sometimes the fastest route isn't the straightest

類は友を呼ぶ　（るいはともをよぶ）
{Rui wa tomo o yobu} Similarities attract friends
More translated - like attracts like

千里の道も一歩より　（せんりのみちもいっぽより）
｛Senri no michi mo i po yori} The journey of a thousand li begins with one step

So, I'm going to try to do my best to bring the joy of Japanese back into my life.  Yes, the test sucked.  But the language itself is kind of interesting. 

Oh, and, um, if I got the email stuff right I am going to be seeing Nicholas Brendon in his play and then going to his meet and greet after in about a WEEK.  Which I still can't believe actually worked out, but somehow it did (thank you emelye_miller !).  So does anyone have any pressing questions they want me to ask?  And is anyone else going?  I've never done something like this before, so HELP! Advice? Thoughts?  

My Dearest elizabuffy,

In honour of your birth, I wish to present you with a voucher for a worldwide utopia of environmental harmony, economic equity, social justice, human rights, organic agriculture, indigenous sovereignty, cultural diversity and emotional healing.  The only hitch is that I need to do *somethin* about the hysterically rabid death-cult of economic plunder, environmental ransacking, human dignity eradication, genetic abomination, cultural genocide and ethical bankruptcy which appears to be in charge of the planet before you can actually redeem it.  it's a good thing your patience is legendary!  So, in the meantime, please accept these Cassidy, Adam and Brad icons.  OH, and all my love!

♥
kate

( it's just a little sprinkling of the boys )

Just got home from Absinthe, Opium & Magic: 1920s Shanghai, a crazy awesome, sometimes sublime, other times bloody, performance.

I haven't been to see anything onstage since the last time we were in LA, and I think this was hands down the best time I've ever had.  Even before they opened the doors they had one performer on stilts outside the theatre in white face paint, flirting with everyone (I think he thought Neil was adorable).  The door opened to the 'cruise' to Shanghai, and they had the entry area and hallway filled with actors in either courtesan costume, or the fairy serving absinthe, or the little french photographer who took our pictures as we were getting on board (if I get less lazy I may actually scan so you can see).  Then each act happened.  There were gangsters, and hookers, and torch signing and puppets decapitating each other.  There were cabinets of curiosities (well, filled with cut off hands) and opium smoking, jealousy and love stories.  There were lots of ass jokes.  The front row got splayed with blood.  The puppet rewrote Sartre.  There was dancing.

It was, without a doubt, the best stage performance I've ever been to, and I laughed like a riot.

I'd like to declare the end of 2009 official.  Christmas was great. 
New Year's Eve was good. 
I've been a little up and down,
but I'm looking forward to the coming year, finally. 
And glad the old one is over.  
So come, see some pictures that celebrate all of that.


The ocean invites you ...

( Christmas time in Sacto )

( Christmas time in LA )

( Tyler & Kate go to Griffith Park )

( New Year's Eve )

( field trip to the beach )