bookish dreamer

i don't know why i put myself through this, but i watched Wolf of Wallstreet. And it's just as ridiculously filled with self-aggrandizing masturbatory male fantasies of treating other people like objects as i thought it would be. there is no moral in it. the ridiculous celebration of their lifestyle doesn't actually judge it, it just fetishizes it. yay isn't it fun to be wall street men? how did this performance get awards. it just made me sick. am watching The Fifth Element as a palette cleanser

i rearranged my guest room/3rd room/storage room today because grad students are coming to visit this week. and now I want to hang out there, cuz it's all pretty and fresh and new and 2/3rds of the boxes are actually in the closet. with silk flowers and everything. and pictures on the walls. it's not a hotel. and nothing matches. but it's cute.

the dog chased a skunk sunday (and lost), so she got a bath. post-bath, post-windows open all night, post-bathroom cleaning she's super duper soft. i can't stop petting her. And the correct formula to de-skunk is 1 pint hydrogen peroxide, 1/4 cup baking soda, 2 tbsp soap. it works.

did great valentine's day party with my single friends. champagne and sausage party. i brought the cookies. and yes, there were actual sausages.

last week i had a fassbender & fondue dinner party, more than half of the people invited canceled on the day of (actually the evening of) the dinner party. However, the 3 people who showed made manful inroads on the fondue (yes, cheese fondue from scratch, with sausage and veggies and two kinds of bread, and chocolate fondue with raspberries and blackberries and strawberries), and were amazing company. And I adore them. We had a blast. I was a bit miffed at everyone else for cancelling though. Not so much that they canceled, but that seriously 6 of them did it within two hours of the event, 4 of them actually at the event start time.

was at school every day this week for one thing or another, so was totally unproductive (except for the meetings, yay advisor!) on my diss writing/research. am going to be pulling a similar schedule next week. i used to do this all the time (and get tons of work done), but right now it's just a pain that derails me.

had proper LA dim sum Friday with some of the other grads from my department. so. much. yummy. food. $14.00 per person. And there were leftovers. so worth driving to Alhambra. (though not a run i will make every week)

the list:

- even after antibiotics course dog is still having scary BMs. i will have to go back to the vet AGAIN and probably spend more money. (subtotal so far for those of you playing at home is $600)

- housemate finally decided that she's moving out. which is sad, but probably right thing to do.

- put up add for room last sunday, had 4 people come visit on sunday, two on monday, two on tuesday, one on thursday.

- pulled a very LA bad karma move and offered apt. to one of the sunday people and then felt gut-punch wrong about having done so, so pulled out two days later. this meant i screwed me up (didn't sleep the whole night before pulling out - conflicted and worried doesn't even begin to explain it, couldn't concentrate, totally brain shot, also i had to front the rent for both me and housemate for november so i'm BROKE TO THE BONE), screwed current housemate up because she paid some bills thinking she'd not have to pay for november rent, screwed nice (but unemployed) person who wanted to rent room up. (so in her favor she was only like 8 years younger than me, smart, passed the 'will domino sit in a room with you' test, seemed like we would get along. in her unfavor - and why i took back my decision - she doesn't have a job, and she got really pushy from the evening she saw the apartment, and she made some interesting offhand comments about it being *mostly* clean in here, which is hilarious)

- had to do a presentation in my japanese crit studies class (this was after the two hours or so sleep night on tuesday)

- offered apartment to one of the tuesday-saw-it-people, she hasn't called me back, so she's off the list

- met with my old advisor who is setting up a press for translated japanese sci fi. which is awesome. i promised to do a cover for her. because i'm an idiot. also though because it will be awesome to be associated with her press without having to translate japanese. yet. maybe someday.

- i didn't even realize new eps of white collar were out there and all i want to do is sit at home and watch them, but i have to go to a halloween party. And yes, i know, that sounds super complainy. I wish the party was tomorrow night though, not tonight, because then i'd have the energy. as it stands right nwo all i want to do is cocoon into a little headphone-enabled ball.

tired. tired. purposefully slept in on thursday and STILL I'M TIRED. UGH.

sorry, this post is brought to you by my whine. i need some cheese with this or something.

1. man, I never get to say that! 今晩は (konbanwa), i mean. It's partially that I end up studying at home at night, and partially because you don't *really* say 今晩は much anyway when you walk by people at night (my neighborhood is very much a 'nod' 'nod back' neighborhood, not a spoken greeting neighborhood). All i know is i hate the way the announcer guy says it on the American Iron Chef. Hate like burning.

2. Anyway!! HI everybody! I have been wrapped up in the end of school stuff for the last two weeks... Not that our program is over, but we are four days away from finishing our third semester. And then we get a two week break! SO needed - I was getting exhausted just from the schedule and the continual push pull of homework.

3. My presentation today went well - 15 min in Japanese on revising the definition of SF, with ten minutes or so of question and answer. The lovely part is that people got enough of my presentation to really actually ask probing questions. Good and simultaneously tiring since it's heavy lifting answering these questions in either language.

4. So all my shoes died. Not that I had a ton, but I had three pairs of boots all get holes or start losing their soles one after the other. So I found our neighborhood shoe repair place. Of course the two guys who work there are very nice and chat with me about what the hell i'm doing in Japan. They are literally astonished that I am studying Japanese literature and told me over and over that they had NEVER heard of anyone doing that. I am a serious curiosity. When I picked up my shoes yesterday they invited me to hang out with them and other shop owners in the neighborhood - apparently they get together on the weekends and grab food and drink. I gave them my number, so we'll see if they call, but it will be interesting. I'm afraid I'll feel a bit like a zoo animal, "Come one! Come all! See the Japanese Literature Grad Student in her Japanese-habitat!!" but we'll see.

5. I am currently involved in making plans to go to a festival in Japan where they parade a giant penis around the town. Yes, for reals. It's a harvest festival called 豊年祭り (Honen Matsuri) I will not be praying for my own fertility though.

6. As a treat I made myself this chicken piccata and OMG. If you like chicken and capers and lemon, you must eat this IMMEDIATELY (or as soon as you can). I took pictures of my own dinner and will post them when i get the energy. But OMG SRSLY.

7. hanging out with Sam's housemate last week and I found out she is in fandom too, and was sort of horrified that one of the other students in the program had found her fandom tumblr. Of course, the reason why that person had found the tumblr was because *she* was *also* a fan (so hey, equal levels of geekyness). We did have a talk about anonymity/revelations/etc. One of the things I comfort myself with is that if someone's going to find my stuff they will also have to be fans themselves to find it. Though these days I'm more ghost-like than fan-like, but hopefully there will be two solid months this summer when I get back to the states wherin I will PLAY ALL THE TIME and make some fannish contributions above and beyond 'kudos' at A03.

8. got linked by another one of the students at our program (who is nice enough to rec sherlock fics to me) to a post at fandom_wank and got lost down the rabbit hole this afternoon. It's been a while since I've paid attention to their posts and I love them so. Also, please, take a look at this ridiculous Misha Collins Youtube Video of him and his son having the most goofy time. I don't know if it'll strike you guys as totally awesome or not, but I literally laughed out loud over and over again.

And if you're curious about the Sherlock fic, I haven't read it yet, and the reccer tends to like angst with a happy ending, but here:

The Fabric of Life by holyfant (Sherlock/John / 150,000 words / read the warnings)

9. did my taxes! am getting money back! (of course, that's because according to my earnings statement i'm not exactly living above the poverty line). glad they're done though. i just wish all the other paperwork i have pending (forms for my program in the states, etc.) would be as easy to take care of.

10. it is *almost* cherry blossom season. There is a plum tree that is covered in white blossoms (very like cherry, but white) I see every day on my walk to school. The starbucks has started offering 'sakura' (cherry blossom) flavored drinks (which taste like pink). Over break I will be trying my damdest to get to one of the viewing spots that isn't super croweded to take some pictures (well, if things actually blossom during break...) it's hard to pinpoint the time exactly, but the air is getting warmer these days, and the sun does feel stronger, so I have hope! ... well damn, just checked, and the best viewing day according to the "sakura weather map" is April 4th. oh well, at least spring is coming!

Some of you may have heard/noticed this whole LJ comment thing (especially people who play on kink memes). What you might NOT know is this is just the first of a whole host of changes that are coming from LJ. ok, so far, the most succinct summary I have found is here at raemia.

there's another set of links/roundup at sf_drama here

if you are migrating, and you haven't found me on dreamwidth, or if i haven't found you, please do!!

(there's a link at the bottom of this post for LJ friends. Additionally, we did create a mirror comm for Summer of Giles (summer_of_giles) there, and it sounds like Dreamwidth is trying to create a community import (which would be AWESOME), so I'll be using that if I can when I can.

as for everything else, if you need/want a little humor that turns slightly dark (read the warnings), I am deeply amused by helens78's Maybe If We Just Wait (Things Will Improve) (Fandom/Livejournal, Angst, Relationship problems, G)

( things that have been stressing me out )

( things that have been going right )

NOW, you ask yourself, what about summer?  I'm asking myself that very question.  I thought I'd settled it for myself - I was going to do the program I could afford, that I was comfortable with.  But I got thrown back into confusion today after meeting with the grad advisor in our dept because he really thinks it would be a good idea if i go to Japan this summer.

( Here's my pros and cons list of the choice i have to make )

Gah.  it all makes my brain hurt quite a bit...

After making pancakes for 15 odd years with varying degrees of success I found myself this morning with the perfect plate of silver-dollar pancakes (see above). They may look a little large in the picture but they're approx 3 inches in diameter and freakishly they came out perfect. I am a pleased Kate.

My plan today is pancakes, Maeda Ai (one of the foremost philosophers/literary scholars/interrogators of the modern periphery in modern Japan) reading, and possibly the buying of a vacuum cleaner belt if there are any stores open Sunday.

It was a fairly hellish week last week - rescheduling a make up class meant that I had two sets of reading to do for the class that is trying to create records in how much we read a week - and by the end of it I wanted to club the woman who is taking all the same classes as me over the head with my computer. I'm going to have to come up with a name for her, I think, so I can vent properly.... possibly co-student? The sad part is that she's making me happy to have my nemesis in one of our classes because he's an annoyance in an entirely *different* kind of way. It's freakish when that's more welcome!

( you see, the thing about co-student is... )

Other than that life is pretty good - still tired, and have applications to work on and a paper to edit on the to do list too.  And possibly a friend coming to spend the night tomorrow night.

And this was supposed to just be a quick entry about pancakes.  *shaking my own head at myself*

I'm going to be posting my word counts today, just to give myself a little extra boost.  SO, for the paper I haven't talked about at all, on intersex characters in science fiction being even more radical and cool than cyborgs, I give you my first word count on the *final* draft (this does not include rough draft words):

284 / 5600 words. 5% done!

updated: 4:48 PM

940 / 5600 words. 17% done!

updated: 7:38 pm

1490 / 5600 words. 27% done!

updated: 8:58 pm

2284 / 5600 words. 41% done!

updated: 11:14 pm

3081 / 5600 words. 55% done!

Anyone know anywhere I can get a primer on academic words? I don't know if it was simply that I've spent the last couple of nights up till 2 reading for my classes or what, but this afternoon it seemed like every word out of my professors mouth was a set of vocabulary that I still don't understand.  And my most horrifying secret:  even after using the following word in my own work (or variations of), i am still not precisely clear on what it means.

ontology.  ontological.  defined as:
The science or study of being; that department of metaphysics which relates to the being or essence of things, or to being in the abstract.
The branch of metaphysics concerned with the nature and relations of being.

So what does it mean to talk about an author who is trying to be ontological?  Or proposing a new ontology?  (ok, the second one I can do, but the first one?)

and since I'm looking up words, neologism:
a newly invented word or phrase / newly discovered term or meaning

We were talking about Philip Dick's The Man In The High Castle and William Gibson's Neuromancer, and while I'm certainly willing to get on the high horse right along with everyone who suggests we can't dismiss either one of these words as simply pulp novels not worth the paper they're printed on, the ability to deploy this kind of vocabulary?  I've lost it.  Sometimes I'm fairly certain that I'd never had it. 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I think one of the most fascinating things about cyberpunk is that it does cram a whole lot of new meanings into half recognizable words.  And frankly, now that I've looked up what neologism means, I'm willing to say they're creating them all the time.  But its as if I missed a class somewhere, where they handed out the sheet that contained all of this terminology. I can talk sign / signifier / referent, I can talk proletariat / bourgeois (at least to a certain degree), I can talk subject / Other..... why, then, do I feel like a babe in the woods everytime someone opens their mouths in this class?

Oh well, no time for worrying.  I have a Japanese test tomorrow instead.

so much for trying to post more often in the month of November. 

(  The weekend was a little busier than most - dog park with Neil and my absolutely adorable puppy (who is not a puppy, but whatever) on Saturday and the Derby Dolls of LA with Maija on Sunday.  )

One of the best parts of this week has been corrupting elizabuffy over to the dark side of American Idol!  Now I have someone to share the joy with, and she agrees that Adam is a pretty awesome sparkly unicorn prince.  I realized I'm definitely a fangirl now because I listened to his album last night and ... deep breath, I can admit this really I can... I liked some of the tracks.  Oh sparkly unicorn prince.  You glittered your way into my ears.

I can't tell if I'm working on a cold or having a severe allergy attack for a couple of days, but either way since Monday my head has been fuzzy, my eyes a little gravely/burning, my chest half-congested, and I've been moderately tired.  It makes gathering the mental energies a very difficult thing.  Except, apparently, for my new media class, where even if I'm not all there I will still manage to dominate the conversation like a loon -- I guess I feel that more is at stake there than in my other classes.  More fun too though.

On the work front I'm heading into the end, and not really quite finding the sense of urgency I need to take care of everything.  So I have this film that I need to watch for my film paper, and some research to do, and an entire new media paper to write, and .... yeah.  Japanese continues to be exactly as it has been - little difficult, mostly entertaining, and definitely no cake walk.  This week is a little annoying as we're doing 'how to order things in restaurants' and so the entire class we talk about food.  It's a good thing I generally have lunch right after.

After a bunch of days where I felt like I was on a roll - things were still progressing forward in that sense that you get - even though there are highs and lows everything was still mostly on track, and then.

this week.  housemate down with cold-type-thing.  The only really scary problem is that she hasn't gone into work for three days and even though she's talked with them about it and they're mostly cool, they're not going to be cool forever and WE CAN'T LIVE HERE IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB.

To top it all off my mom gets into town today for a visit.   Which I've been looking forward to.  But the house is a shambles.

Oh, and Tuesday?  I had a japanese test I'm pretty sure I didn't do that well on.  EGH.  I think I'm ready for this week to be over and to have some return of a little bit of our regularly scheduled program, you know?