girlfriends, sisters, lovers, friends - yeah, so?

[katekat]

I just got an email that I've received at least 10 times in the past 10 years. It's one of those cloying tender and gentle missives, reminding me to stay in touch with my girlfriends, my sisters, my family, because they will stick with me through thick and thin, they will support me and love me and remind me of the good times when times are bad. And, I'll admit, there are times when the sickeningly sweet idea goes down quite well (I do, after all, love me some sugar).

But this time, this time I just want to scream instead. Why? This is the only type of email I receive from my sister. This is the only type of communication I have with her. This is the only way she shows me she cares in my day to day life. No phone calls, no letters, no emails with text she wrote herself. Instead there's this bizarrely personal impersonal email telling me to value her and my other girlie friends because they'll be the ones who are true. And you know what I say to that?

Screw Impersonal. Screw forwards. Screw her little safe feeling that she's connecting with me. I tried at one point to write her actual emails, to say hi and check in, to call on the phone and just *be* present in her life. I didn't get shit back, except for more forwarded emails. If I wanted forwards I'd sign up for them.

Give me something, anything, resembling a real conversation, a real talk, a real connection. I'm closer to friends who live in AUSTRALIA than I am to my own sister. Make that plural, sisters. And sometimes, sometimes it just disgusts me.

Comments

[dara-starscream.livejournal.com]

Aw man that sucks. Your sister should be the one you think of when you're watching Norbert and Dagwood on the Angry Beavers.

Sorry. What can I say, I love my cartoons.

Seriously, your sister should at least treat you like a peer, not like a name on her Contact list. It's not right. Sentiment is cheap and that's all those chain E-mails are. Granted, it's good to get reminders to keep in touch, but sentiment is a pisspoor substitute for love.
-BJ

[katekat]

it totally is - and it's constantly been a frustration in my life. i'd love to have cartoons in common with them instead. that would rock. but chain emails just ... well, like i said, they piss me off.

[dara-starscream.livejournal.com]

Okay now you knew this was coming; what's the breakdown? I see multiple sisters. How many? Any brothers? Any cousins you were close with? NosyInquiring minds wanna know.
-BJ

[katekat]

*hugs your inquiring mind* (ie: you want me to talk about me? sure!)

there are multiple. i've got 3 step sisters that i've had since i was 3 years old. me & my sisters are all 7 years apart, with me the youngest (ie: me 29, Neen 36, Ko 43, Kell 50). no brothers, no close cousins.

what about you?

[dara-starscream.livejournal.com]

One sister, two years younger, aphrael_childe. She's my bud.

On my dad's side there's Jesi (rotten_daisy), Daniel and Lizzie. Jesi and I touch base every now and again, but I've fallen out of touch with Daniel and Lizzie. On my Mom's side there's Deanna and her kids, but we haven't spoken in years. There's also my cousin Jennifer who's in New Mexico figuring out new and inventive ways to screw her parents and ex-husband over long distance.

(loops her arm over her sister's neck) We're insane. Fear us. :-)

Getting back to the obsession at hand, a close relationship between sisters is one of the great things to see (witness Becky and Darlene from 'Roseanne'), and I'm sorry we didn't see much in the Buffyverse. Buffy and Dawn were too far apart in age to really have that kind of rapport. It's a shame.
-BJ

[katekat]

(loops her arm over her sister's neck) We're insane. Fear us. :-)

*wistful sigh* that sounds like FUN. Btw, i don't fear the insane - i am insane. Note the generally relentlessly cheerful outlook? that's my personal form of insanity.

[dara-starscream.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh, and you've lived in a rainy climate for how long?

Seriously, don't worry about it. Worse comes to worst you could always forward some smut mail. ;-)
-BJ

[katekat]

LOL. I wonder if that would wake 'em up? Or permanently close their mouths and minds.

[dara-starscream.livejournal.com]

(snicker) Give you an indication of what our conversations (http://www.livejournal.com/users/aphrael_childe/118675.html) are like.
-BJ

[elementalv.livejournal.com]

It's distressing, I agree. There was one point where I didn't talk to my sister for about five years. And then somewhere along the line, we both sort of clicked. At this point, we're friends, and we stay in touch on a regular basis. We have a relationship based on who we are instead of on an accident of blood, and it really is a beautiful thing. It's too bad it didn't happen until we were in our 30s, but hey — better late than never.

I hope that at some point, you'll be able to find that kind of relationship with your sisters. And if you can't, I hope you can torment them as much as possible.

[katekat]

And if you can't, I hope you can torment them as much as possible

lol! now there's a thought! I hope someday I can get where you are, unfortunately, im in my 30's and they're all much older than i. but it's never too late... i just go through periods of hope and periods of growly dismay, and this happens to be one of the latter. thanks for the commiseration though!

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Yup. My sister calls me once in a blue moon and asks me when mum's birthday is. And sends me one sentance emails.

And I always get those "sisters blah blah blah" things from people who when I write back, don't answer. ::smites them::

[katekat]

aren't they frustrating? i wish it was different, but i just don't know how to change the relationship without some help on their side. at least, though, your sister knows your phone number... that's something right?

And I always get those "sisters blah blah blah" things from people who when I write back, don't answer. ::smites them::

Isn't that always the case? the worst communicators are the ones who just like to click. *grrrr* they deserve to have their in boxes flooded with 100s of those emails...

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Well at least two of them don't send me those godforsaken joke posts. ::rolls eyes::

[psychoadept.livejournal.com]

There are so many people I know who only do that. My aunt, my grandma, friends from high school. That's why I rarely forward things. Sometimes I get something that makes me laugh, but usually I just roll my eyes. I did send out a group e-mail a while back because I knew I would never e-mail everyone individually, but I felt kinda bad about that.

[katekat]

You shouldn't feel bad about group emailing for a purpose! I'm a firm believer that's what the CC (& BCC) lines are for. It's just hard for me when I'd like to have a relationship with 'em and all I get are these stupid forwards. And so I bitched about it... pouted about it... and by tomorrow morning, I'll go back to my life without 'em till I get another. Someday I may actually break down and try to explain, but somehow I don't think they'll ever get it.

[psychoadept.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't even like getting mass mailings, where someone is like "this is what's happened to me in the last six months, how are you?" which was kind of what it was...

[katekat]

well, sometimes those are called for. i'd still rather get that than a forward any day.

[psychoadept.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm with you on that. But they're still awfully impersonal, like "I don't have time to have an actual dialogue with you"

[katekat]

very true.

[aheiden.livejournal.com]

Waaay behind on my flist! I'm now sitting down and trying to catch up!

I have the same kind of relationship with my brother, and it bothers me as well! Infuriating how some people think those "fast forwards" spreads the love huh? Bastards!

Hope you're doing well, I am trying to get my use to work on the story, but she seems to have taken a break.....Grrrrrr.....what am I GOING TO DO!!!!! *sobs*

[katekat]

Waaay behind on my flist! I'm now sitting down and trying to catch up!

don't worry lady - it happens to the best of us! (and then there's me, who gets way behind on her comment responses!)

I have the same kind of relationship with my brother, and it bothers me as well! Infuriating how some people think those "fast forwards" spreads the love huh? Bastards!

It is! A couple of years ago, I actually put together an email that basically took 'em all to task and said "email me directly, darn it!" but never got any responses from that either. sigh.

Hope you're doing well, I am trying to get my use to work on the story, but she seems to have taken a break.....Grrrrrr.....what am I GOING TO DO!!!!! *sobs*

Don't kill yourself about it lady! It will come back to you eventually, and then you'll send me 11 chapters at once - I know it will. But, if you want some writing excercises to try and get back in the mood, try this one:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/dara_starscream/59099.html?thread=161499#t161499

xxoo
kate

[aheiden.livejournal.com]

Awww - aren't you THE best beta!! Ok, so I am actually writing a chapter as of now, and after that I think there will only be two more!! Yay! I can see the end!! TBC.... *hugs*

[katekat]

you go girl!! B/G goodness! Woot!