eyerolls will get you everywhere
Sep. 25th, 2012 06:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katekatMy housemate rolled her eyes at me today because I asked her if she'd clear the entire dish drainer out more often than she has been doing.
You see, no apartment in Japan has a dishwasher. Or, ok, no student housing. Just like we don't have ovens. So you're hand washing all the dishes. I don't mind this - even my place in LA doesn't have a dishwasher (that's because it's cheap! yay cheap housing!).
Anyway, rules of the road in my LA place are (and this is living with two different people): if you're doing dishes, you try to clean out the dry dishes first. Of course it doesn't happen every time or anything. But if you start putting one dish away it's easy enough to put all the rest of 'em away (dish drainers aren't that big after all).
Current housemate wants to leave her dishes in the drainer and never put them away. For her it's a perfect system - from drainer to table and back again. EXCEPT, LO, I USE DISHES TOO.
And I realize what the fundamental problem is here: she's not used to living with other people. I know for a fact she's been living by herself since she's been in LA (which is two years or so), and she doesn't talk about past housemates, so I'm guessing that she lived by herself or with parents (a whole different set of compromises).
But eyerolls?
So, flist, give me your advice? Eyerolls really piss me off. I want to open my bedroom door and ask her to please refrain from rolling her eyes at me when I'm trying to calmly bring up something that bothers me. Even if she thinks the subject is closed, if it bothers me, I'd appreciate that she give me the courtesy of taking me seriously as her housemate. Even if she chooses not to compromise with me, I'd like her to acknowledge me in a mature way.
Actually, I can guess what you're going to say - I should ignore it, because confronting her isn't going to make it any better. But goddamn i hate it when I get made to feel absurd and like i'm an ass because I asked someone to do *exactly* what I'm doing every time I put away the damn dishes -- just meet me fucking halfway.
You see, no apartment in Japan has a dishwasher. Or, ok, no student housing. Just like we don't have ovens. So you're hand washing all the dishes. I don't mind this - even my place in LA doesn't have a dishwasher (that's because it's cheap! yay cheap housing!).
Anyway, rules of the road in my LA place are (and this is living with two different people): if you're doing dishes, you try to clean out the dry dishes first. Of course it doesn't happen every time or anything. But if you start putting one dish away it's easy enough to put all the rest of 'em away (dish drainers aren't that big after all).
Current housemate wants to leave her dishes in the drainer and never put them away. For her it's a perfect system - from drainer to table and back again. EXCEPT, LO, I USE DISHES TOO.
And I realize what the fundamental problem is here: she's not used to living with other people. I know for a fact she's been living by herself since she's been in LA (which is two years or so), and she doesn't talk about past housemates, so I'm guessing that she lived by herself or with parents (a whole different set of compromises).
But eyerolls?
So, flist, give me your advice? Eyerolls really piss me off. I want to open my bedroom door and ask her to please refrain from rolling her eyes at me when I'm trying to calmly bring up something that bothers me. Even if she thinks the subject is closed, if it bothers me, I'd appreciate that she give me the courtesy of taking me seriously as her housemate. Even if she chooses not to compromise with me, I'd like her to acknowledge me in a mature way.
Actually, I can guess what you're going to say - I should ignore it, because confronting her isn't going to make it any better. But goddamn i hate it when I get made to feel absurd and like i'm an ass because I asked someone to do *exactly* what I'm doing every time I put away the damn dishes -- just meet me fucking halfway.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-30 07:07 am (UTC)Of course, having your partner do that and having a housemate do it are two totally different things. I would never do that if I lived with someone else, and I certainly wouldn't eyeroll them about it. Ffs, attitude.
I suppose if you had space you could set all her dishes in a pile to one side, but by the time you do that, you might as well have put them away for her and that's just a ridiculous expectation. This and the other entry you made about her attitude towards air con are giving me the impression that's she's a pretty selfish (maybe I want self-centred?) individual, and not someone I could live with at all. Major hugs hon, I hope you get it sorted peaceably. There's just no need for it, at the end of the day.