I'm freaking out

[katekat]

I got accepted to my first academic conference!!  I'm freaking out.  For many reasons.  First, because when I sent my prospectus to my adviser, I also sent it to the conference committee, and then she told me she didn't think I should submit it.  EEEK.  Second, because ... it's a conference!  I'm going to be presenting to a conference!  EEEEK.  I mean, I can talk a mile a minute on many subject matters, and in this particular instance I think I'm sort of reasonably authoritative, but

holy god, i'm going to have to talk in front of my peers.

and about this:  the representation and construction of social norms, identities and relationships in film, literature and language.

Yep, that's what the conference topic is about.  My topic?  A sci-fi film that was created by an obscure religious group in order to promote their doctrine in kind of a unique way.

Oh my god.  The butterflies are killing me already.

Third, because we just had this seminar about how one shouldn't be a total conference slut.  and now i'm going to a conference!

Comments

[mishloran.livejournal.com]

I hope you are freaking out in the good way BECAUSE THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME! OH MY GOD, SO EXCITED FOR YOU! EEEEEEEE! GO KATE!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

[katekat]

i'm freakign the hell out mish!! but thank you!! now i'm petrified because i have to tell my advisor that i sent my prospectus in even though she told me not to - EEK! *clings and hides behind mish*

and then? you know what? I'm gonna have to actually talk to these people!? in front of them! EEEEEK!

[mishloran.livejournal.com]

Well, it was obviously good enough. Maybe your advisor didn't want you to freak out? ;) But I'm sure once she hears you got it, she'll be pleased as punch. You're her padwan learner, it is a great achievement, and this will reflect on her, too, she'll probs be proud of you pookie! And if she goes "OH MY GOD, I TOLD YOU NOT TO" you can go "...but the peeps organising the conference obviously thought i was awesome enough to present a paper on this subject! Thereby I must have done the Right Thing"

As for talking in front of them: you said yourself, it's a bit obscure, so YOU'LL be the most knowledgeable person in the room! And you can lord your intelligence over them by telling them all about it. And they'll be interested and it'll be great! Ohmygod. Excited.

[katekat]

you are so soothing. i feel (marignally) better (my freakout was hitting chaotic proportions)

will you fly over and come with me to the conference? then i will be ok. i can pretend i'm only talking to you.

[mishloran.livejournal.com]

mew, I know how these things are (esp having had many the AAARGH recently myself - but generally 'cause I'm shit academically rather than brilliant enough to shine into a conference!) but really, your lecturer will be pleased with you. It would be curlish not to be. Also, it will look EXCELLENT on your CV! :)

oh my god, that would be socool!!!!!!! But alas, I cannot. You can pretend I am there, though! If it helps?! Standing in the back nodding respectfully. Or going :P and making funny faces!

[mishloran.livejournal.com]

churlish? i do not know how to spell that.

[katekat]

churlish? perhaps? i do not know either - but i got your intent!

[katekat]

ah the CV the CV frightens me too! heee. but you are right. she will probably be pretty decent about it. I will perhaps bring her treats to sweeten her disposition? i can make treats and then that will make everyone happy.

and funny faces! although somehow i think giggling will be a bad idea throughout the conference. *sigh* academic people do take themselves seriously, don't they?

[mishloran.livejournal.com]

curriculum vitae are scary, scary things. I fear the time when mine has to be written. Oh, those two shop jobs and no hobbies to speak of are going to look so great and make me seem like such an interesting and broad minded individual... uh.

Treats are always reccommended! Mmm, nummy treats!

I don't understand why academics are so stern faced and serious. Because let's face it, they have their perfect jobs. Why not shove a smile on their faces and a twinkly glint in their eyes as well?!