this is not a jog

i have recapped/worked through:

1 book on monday
3 books on tuesday
5 books on wednesday
4 books on thursday (today) - though the day isn't over and i'm aiming for two more

tomorrow i find out if i'm starting my exams on monday or tuesday. Either way I'll testing for three days (either monday/wed/fri or tues/wed/fri). Six hours each day (from 9:00 am to 3:30 pm), no books - just a computer, the questions, and me.

about half the time i'm terrified i'll fail or be incomprehensibly dumb or just not get things right, and about half the time i'm finding new connections i hadn't put together before, and maybe a smidge of that time i'm feeling like i can do this and i know what's coming and it is faceable.

then i look at the list of things i have yet to review and want just one more week. oh well, i have the time i have... either 4 days or 3 days left. then i'll do the oral exam june 11th and that will be that.