The thing is I have a small cache of mid-level translated phrases. (Ex: Ano hito no Nihongo no hanashikata wa sukoshi okashii desu. / His way of speaking Japanese is a little funny.) All of them have been scrounged from online. (Thank you, grammar sites.) Unfortunately, I don't have much in terms of simpler phrases. So a little comment from Brad like "you're doing it wrong" is off-limits.

It's kind of...ironic?