katekat: (Default)
[personal profile] katekat
Dear Cousin,

I'm defriending you on facebook. Not because I think you're a bad person - I think you have good intentions and those come from someone with a good heart. Not because you comment on my posts with different opinions - I actually like talking to people with opinions different than mine, especially when they are well read, and you seem to do a lot of reading.

But every time you comment on something I post you're aggressive and you level personal attacks at me. You told me I had no right to my opinions because I wasn't a mother. You told me it was no wonder your mom stopped talking to mine because I was just terrible as she was. Today you are telling me I'm being argumentative and I think you're also accusing me of being fat when I was trying to tell you "hey, you have your opinion and I have mine, and this is why I have mine."

I friended you because I'm not close to you and you're my cousin. And I remembered you from when we were kids. I wanted to get to know you. But when you comment so aggressively to my posts, when you tell me I can't have an opinion different than yours, when you call me ignorant, or terrible, when you attack me? It makes me feel bad, and sick, and angry. Maybe that's what you mean to do. If so, that's pretty toxic, because you don't know me either.

It seems like you're pretty happy with your life. I'm glad. I'm pretty happy with my life too. And one of the ways I try to draw boundaries in my life is to stop accepting abuse in the name of family or friends. I hope you have a good life. If I see you at a family thing I'll be happy to have a conversation with you - again I wish you well and happy. But I don't actually need to be attacked online.

Be well,
Katekat1010

Date: 2015-11-01 09:15 pm (UTC)
yourlibrarian: All the Winchesters (SPN-WinchestersAlways-savedean-e0wyn-swi)
From: [personal profile] yourlibrarian
Family relationships can be a lot more difficult than friendships, exactly because a clean break is rarely possible. But your letter sounds pretty straightforward to me.

Date: 2015-11-03 11:06 am (UTC)
lliira: Fang from FF13 (Default)
From: [personal profile] lliira
"You told me it was no wonder your mom stopped talking to mine because I was just terrible as she was."

Woah. I'd have been tempted to say "right back at you."

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